Merry Christmas, Movie House! 25 Days of Christmas Day 22: Frosty the Snowman

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You know I love me some Rankin Bass. These Christmas specials defined my childhood right up there with the Mighty Ducks films. They are must watches every Christmas. Today I watched Frosty the Snowman. It’s like Jack where a snowman comes to life. Frosty doesn’t kill people or is Batman though. This Rankin Bass special is a little different since it isn’t claymation like the others. This one is done in animation. It’s not quite as cool because of that, but it’s still a solid effort.

The Plot

A bunch of kids are building a snowman on the first snow of the season which fell on Christmas Eve. Karen, the main girl, decides to call him Frosty after bad names like Howard and Oatmeal. An evil magician, Professor Hinkle, is not a very good magician so he throws his hat out. The kids put the hat on Frosty and he comes to life. “Happy birthday!” That’s what Frosty says when he comes to life. He says it every time in every Frosty special except for that horrid Frosty Returns. The magician takes the hat back,but his rabbit named Hocus Pocus gives it back to the kids. Frosty is back alive and he’s all singing and dancing. It’s fun! It’s getting hot though so he has to go to the North Pole. They jump on a train and for some reason Frosty makes Karen go with him. Hocus Pocus also goes. Karen gets too cold and Frosty has to make her warm. That damn Hinkle is still causing trouble though. He locks Frosty in a greenhouse and that melts him. Karen is sad and cries over Frosty the Puddle. Hocus Pocus has recruited Santa Claus to help out. Paul Frees is voicing our Santa in this special. It gets confusing sometimes since there are different Santa voice actors in Rankin Bass like Mickey Rooney. Santa just opens up the door and Frosty comes back to life since Christmas snow magic or something. Santa forces Professor Hinkle to write why he shouldn’t be bad or else he won’t get presents. Santa takes Karen home and he takes Frosty to the North Pole. That’s okay because Frosty will be back again some day. He’s got a sequel, a crossover and a crappy John Goodman not really a sequel to come back for when he returns.

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Final Thoughts

I actually fell asleep a little bit, but that’s just from me being tired. I still enjoy watching the film. I love the cop who swallows his whistle. I love Hinkle saying, “Messy, messy, messy.” The song is always wonderful to hear. I love Jackie Vernon as Frosty the Snowman. Jimmy Durante is great as the narrator. It’s just a magical special. It really brings me into the Christmas spirit even if I fell asleep watching it this time. Go watch it if you haven’t this holiday season!

Merry Christmas, Movie House! 25 Days of Christmas Day 4: Jack Frost (1997)

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In 1998, a nice family film starring Beetlejuice Batman Michael Keaton came out where he died and became a snowman. It’s a touching tale about a boy and his father. I think. It’s been forever since I’ve watched it. The Jack Frost film that came out a year before had nothing to do with that at all. It’s about a snowman that murders people. It’s easy to get the two confused. 

The Plot

Jack Frost (Yes, that’s his actual name) is a murderer who has killed a shitload of people before the town sheriff caught him. Jack vows revenge on the good sheriff. While they are taking Jack to jail or something, the truck crashes with a tanker that has like radioactive material or something. It makes Jack Frost into an evil snowman. The snowman can make himself water, ice, or whatever it damn well pleases. He spends most of the film killing the people in town. He even rapes Shannon Elizabeth in the bathtub. He does all this while delivering corny one liners. In the end, they defeat him with antifreeze…or maybe not. Cliffhanger endings! Woo! 

Analysis

I enjoy the low budget special effects of the film. The snowman is pretty hilarious and I love how it shows up in different places. The acting isn’t too great and that is to be expected in a film like this. I do enjoy the guy playing Jack Frost. His one liners are hit and miss but he provides excitement to the role. I would say he is easily the best actor in the film. Michael Keaton would have a tough job overcoming that performance. 

Final Thoughts

I wish I did a running commentary on this film like I did for some of my Halloween reviews this year. I will say that the film gets a bit boring since Jack is killing off characters we don’t care about. I’d say the sheriff is the only likable guy, but even he’s pretty boring. I spaced out of the last half hour of the film. I might recommend it for a few laughs, but I wouldn’t tell you to go out of your way to watch it. 

Halloween Havoc 2013 Day 14: The Collection

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A couple days ago I reviewed The Collector. While I watched the film, I had no idea there was a sequel already made. The film ending implied there would be a sequel, but I was unsure if it existed. I browsed Netflix and found the sequel! I was excited. I liked the first film, so I was curious if the sequel would be any good. Most sequels do not live up to the expectations. I don’t think the expectations were super high for The Collection, but I still wanted to see what it would bring. For the third day in a row, I am not doing a running commentary. I will get back to it soon. Get ready for some spoilers.

The Plot

The film picks up where the first film left off. Our hero, Arkin, from the first film is still missing. The news says about fifty people are also missing. You would think this guy would have been caught sooner if he was able to kidnap this many people. Some sort of monster manhunt would be going on in this place. We are introduced to a short haired Natalie Portman lookalike. Her name is Elena. She’s going to the club with some friends. The Collector is at this club. He leaves his red box there which contains Arkin. Arkin is able to escape while the Collector literally uses some sort of machine to straight up murder almost everyone in the club. This has to be at least fifty people. He then crushes probably another ten plus right after that. Jason, Freddy, or Michael never killed this many people in one movie. He takes Elena as his one captive person like he usually does. Arkin is fixed up at the hospital, but the Collector sends him some flowers just to be a dick. Arkin’s wife is there, but we never find out if she got away from Uriel the loan shark from the first movie.

Arkin is hired by a guy to help find Elena. This guy named Lucello has been protecting Elena since she was young. He was hired by her father. Lucello’s team enters the Collector’s home base. They know where it is because when Arkin was captured, he made marks on his arm to determine where he was going. Smart guy that Arkin. Elena escaped her little red box while in captivity. So the Collector has to find all these poor bastards to kill. The place is booby trapped pretty damn good. One wrong step in this place and you can lose your head, arm, leg, and more. The run into crazy people, bugs, corpses, and a crazy girl along the way. The crazy girl named Abby seems to actually help the Collector. That bitch. She dies for this which I think makes the Collector mad. Arkin goes through a lot of shit while there. He breaks his arm again just to get out of a giant cage along with many other cuts and bruises. Lucello’s team is picked off one by one. We even think Lucello might be fucked for a while before he triumphantly returns. He dies right after that though protecting Elena and Arkin. Arkin uses this chance to fight the Collector. After all Arkin has been through, we want to see him kick the Collector’s ass. It’s awesome. He knocks him down into a pit of corpses and burns that motherfucker. Fire surrounds Arkin and he pretty much gives up thinking he is going to die. Elena isn’t having that shit. She breaks these weird glass things with body parts and water inside. The water puts out the fire and she escapes with Arkin. The police, ambulance, and firefighters were already there because earlier in the film, Arkin shot a guy standing outside which brought the police. He then shot at them which brought in the SWAT. Arkin is genius.

So Elena’s father is happy she is safe. Arkin checks all the boxes of dead bodies. He notices the mask of the Collector burning. I figured they’d end the movie right there on a cliffhanger. Nope, they are showing some guy at his house walking around. I’m thinking to expect a dumb twist ending. I’m surprised to find it’s the Collector walking and Arkin has found him. He holds a gun to his head. He tells that motherfucker he is going to torture him and then kill him. He stuffs the Collector into the box and that’s how the film ends. It’s awesome!

Acting

I liked the acting for the most part. Arkin was much better this time. Elena was good too. Lucello played his part nicely. Everyone else played their roles. The Collector was good at being an evil motherfucker.

The Collector

It’s so satisfying seeing him get the shit beaten out of him by Arkin. I never root for the Collector. Unlike with Freddy, Jason, and Michael where at times we find ourselves rooting for them, I never felt that way for Mr. Collector. I wanted him dead. I was dreading the twist ending thinking he would get away. I usually want Michael, Jason, and Freddy to come back after they die. They are badasses. This guy sucks because he has to rely on booby traps and guns. He’s like the lame remake version of Jason Voorhees.

Gore

It was way toned down in this one. I liked that actually. Some disgusting things still happened, but nothing that really made me cringe outside seeing Arkin getting his arm broken. The first film went way overboard on some of their gore. It did seem more realistic. This film the gore seemed more cartoony.

Final Thoughts

I really enjoyed this one. I think it’s better than the first movie. Some things made me question it. You have to wonder how many people the Collector had in that place. Where did he find all the time to put this place together? Did he pay for it all? What would his first victim be like compared to his most recent victims? Was Abby his first victim? She seems to have it the best there. Outside of thinking about that stuff, it’s a fun little romp. You don’t actually need to watch the first film to see this one. Arkin does return, but he really could have been anyone who escaped and had bad flashbacks of his time with the Collector. Watching the first film does make us enjoy it more when Arkin beats the shit out of that Batman wannabe. That brings up another question. Was the Collector trained by the League of Shadows? He fights pretty damn well. It must be an alternate universe Nolan Batman movie where Bruce Wayne just goes fucking crazy and murders people. I recommend The Collection. It’s a very fun film.

Halloween Havoc 2013 Day 12: The Collector

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The good people who helped do some of the Saw movies came up with a little film called The Collector. This review will be different from my usual style today. I’ve already watched the film, so this is not a running commentary. I’m just going to go over the plot, characters, music, and other stuff that I thought about when watching this film. Spoilers!

The Plot

So this killer collects people, and we never really get a reason why he collects people. Our main character looks like Matthew McConaughey’s brother who is all coked out. His name is Arkin. He works for this family doing stuff, but his wife is in some trouble with loan sharks. He decides to rob the family he was working for, but he gets more than what he desired. The family has been taken hostage, but the Collector. He’s doing some sick torture to people. The family consists of a father, mother, older daugher, and a younger daughter. The father and mother get tortured pretty good by the Collector. He’s booby trapped the house, so the place is a death trap. Eat your heart out, Kevin McCallister.

The little girl is missing throughout the film, but she shows up near the end. The older daughter had been out when everything started. She brought her boyfriend to die with her haha. Arkin does his best to save everybody, but he hilariously fails at every corner. I’m pretty sure he is responsible for the death of everyone by accident. Arkin does stop the Collector at the end. Well, that is until those old twist endings where the Collector comes back and collects him. I hated the ending.

Acting

Everyone was pretty fine. Nobody was shit. Nobody was great. I’m always impressed with little girls who have to be around killers in these films. Uriel from the show Supernatural appeared as the loan shark. He spoke very softly, and he was hard to hear. The main character, Arkin, had his moments of good and bad. Sometimes he overacted a little.

Credits

I thought it was interesting that the beginning of the film listed the credits of all the music people and producers. The didn’t show the title or actors until the end of the film. It’s an interesting artistic direction to go, but I prefer to keep it simple. Put the actor names at the beginning.

Music

The film played some weird music. The credits had this annoying music that I made fun of while watching. There was also this weird like cultish 70s music. I expect the Wyatt Family from WWE to come out to this music. So yeah, I didn’t care for the music.

Gore

This is where the film excels. It’s really fucking gory! It’s pretty disgusting sometimes with how much gore there is. Sometimes I liked it, and other times I thought it was too much. We lost some good animals in this film. A cat and a dog died. They got pretty gory deaths. The cat really fucking got it. Poor kitty! The dog was a mean dog, so I didn’t care that it died. All the deaths in the film had some insane gore factor. I’m not sure what I would call the best death. Possibly the electrocution or the older sister’s death. Fun Fact: The older sister was the youngest daughter on the TV show The Nanny.

The Killer

I kinda liked the look of the killer. He had a simple look. I liked when his eyes would glow green. The Collector sort of looked like Batman in Batman Begins before he had the real suit and he finds Commissioner Gordon. I know I said we didn’t get a reason why this exterminator guy was the killer, but we don’t always need a reason. The best killers don’t always have reasons.

Final Thoughts

It was okay. I thought the beginning was pretty boring, but it picked up later. Arkin was a decent lead character, even though his character was only there to rob the people. He proved that he cared by trying to save the day. I think I would slightly recommend it. My girlfriend says if you are into gore, then it is the film for you. I guess there is a sequel to this. I might have to look it up. I hear Arkin returns.

10 Things I Know about the Pope

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The Pope made some news today with some comments he made. I figured I would take some time to write what I know about the Pope. I’m going to say right now that I’m not a very religious guy. Some people might call me an atheist or an agnostic. I’d just say I don’t really give a crap. With that said, here are 10 things I know about Pope Francis

1. He Doesn’t Seem to Hate Gay People

Today, the Pope said, “Who am I to judge?” when it comes to gay people seeking God. I guess I take that as if gay people like God, then Francis is okay with that. He still might hate gay people who don’t like God though. The jury is out on that one. Francis still broke new ground with this statement. I’m sure it sent some Catholics into an uproar which always makes me happy. Now if only he would come around on gay marriage.

2. He Doesn’t Look Like Emperor Palpatine

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The last pope looked like Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars. Francis does not. These are positive changes by the Catholic Church. It’s hard to relate to a pope that looks like he could strike me down with lightning. This new pope actually looks like a nice guy. He appears to be nice since he might like gay people. Palpatine Pope didn’t like the gays.

3. Francis Thinks Atheists Can be Redeemed Too

Francis once said that all who do good can be redeemed by God. He included atheists in that group. That brings hope to guys like me, and my atheist buddies. All we have to do is good things, and we are saved! Not that we care, but it’s good to have that in our back pocket just in case. Thank you, Pope Francis!

4. He May or May Not be the Last Pope in the Prophecy of the Popes

Some guy named Saint Malachy once wrote out a list of Popes hundreds of years ago, and our current Pope is last on the list. The accuracy of this list is up to debate, but there are some coincidences here and there. The last pope on the list is said to bring the start of the apocalypse, and that has yet to be seen with this pope. It could still happen. I’m not doubting it. Hopefully this pope list is a bunch of crap, and we can all live out our lives.

5. He Will Never Appear on Keeping Up with the Kardashians

I’m going out on a limb here and saying this one. It doesn’t seem like a show he would care to be on. I highly doubt he will ever date any of the Kardashians. As pope, he is not allowed to date anybody. Odds are Bruce Jenner won’t be going on any skiing trips with Francis. Maybe when Kendall Jenner turns 18, he will seek her out and start an affair to get on the show. It’s possible.

6. He Shouldn’t Play Batman in the Batman/Superman Movie

I already listed the 10 guys I believe should play Batman the other day in the next movie. Pope Francis was not on that list. I don’t think he has the acting chops to pull off the Dark Knight. I mean it might be comical to watch Francis donning the cape, and trying to fight crime along with Henry Cavill’s Superman. It’s not a film I want to see though. The pope should be doing pope things. He shouldn’t be the Batman. That’s Batman’s job. Everybody knows that Batman is more important than the pope.

7. He’s Likely a Virgin

I mentioned earlier that popes can’t date. Popes don’t usually have sex either. It sucks to be them. I mean some popes have broken that rule because they realized having sex trumps doing their Catholic duties. Francis doesn’t seem like a rule breaker. I’m hoping he was able to get some before he became all religious, so he doesn’t have to worry about never having any sex.

8. You Can Follow Him on Twitter

@Pontifex is his Twitter handle. He talks about exciting things like his trip to Rio. I have no clue if he actually runs the account himself. I hope so. You can expect a lot of talk about Jesus and praying from him. I wouldn’t expect him to talk about the current Major League Baseball season. He actually seems to tweet quite frequently which is odd to me. He even knows how to use hashtags. Either this pope is very hip or he has a good PR team.

9. The Pope Won’t Tweet You Back

Francis is a selfish twitter user. The kind of person who never answers tweets given to him. I tweeted him months ago saying that I would convert to Catholicism if he tweeted me back. I never got that tweet. Hell, I didn’t even get a direct message. I would have accepted that. Pope Francis ignored me like most celebrities do. I probably would have gone along with it too. I might have even gone to church. Maybe Francis didn’t think I was sincere, and that’s why he didn’t tweet back.

10. He’s American! Fuck Yeah!

Well, he’s South American. Born in Argentina. He’s still American to me! I can almost relate to him. We were both born in the Western Hemisphere after all. Francis is the first of his kind. No American has ever been pope before. Maybe it will open the floodgates for more American popes. Maybe even one from the United States. What’s that? Am I putting my name into the goblet of fire? I’d be a great pope. Then again, I could also be that pope that brings the end of the world. They wouldn’t accept me anyways unless this new pope changes the rules and allows non-Catholics. Come on Francis! Make my dreams come true!

There you have it! Those are 10 things I know about Pope Francis. I think I will send him a tweet, and see what he’s up to. I suggest everyone do that same.

Peace out,

The Great Nodnarb

Follow me on Twitter like Pope Francis. My twitter handle is @BigBBrown

Why do I have so many nicknames for myself?

Top 10 Guys that I want as Batman

With news of an upcoming Batman/Superman movie from the San Diego Comic Con, a lot of people have been putting together lists of people they want to see as the Caped Crusader. They usually go with guys they think would make a great Batman. Most people I have seen have been decent choices. I could never see a Bradley Cooper or Ryan Gosling as Batman though. Bradley Cooper will always be that douche from Wedding Crashers to me, and Ryan Gosling will always be that guy who is not Ryan Reynolds. You can tell me how great Drive is all you want! All I can say is don’t watch it while you have been drinking.

My top 10 list of people will not be the best choices. Most of them won’t even be good. Hell, they are all going to be pretty bad. This is just a top 10 list of people who would entertain me if they played Batman next to Henry Cavill’s Superman. Here we go!

#10 John Cena

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This is actually a rumor I read about today. Current WWE Champion John Cena playing Batman. Cena would have to take a lot of time off of pro wrestling to do this role which is fine by me. Nobody is more boring to watch in wrestling than John Cena. His act is beyond stale at this point, but people watch him so that’s cool. He still puts on good matches. It’s time for him to step into a new role though. We want him as the Dark Knight! SuperCena vs. Superman on the big screen. Cena has done some acting in his time with movies like The Marine and 12 Rounds which are entertaining crapfests. That’s what I want from my Batman/Superman movie. Entertaining schlock. Watching Cena try to act his way as Bruce Wayne and Batman will make me laugh for weeks. Make it happen DC!

#9 Nicolas Cage

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The once almost Superman would be a great Batman. He could finally get his revenge by beating up the character he almost was. Almost everything Nic Cage is in entertains me. The man is usually never boring. He can be a vampire or a guy searching for treasure. Cage is awesome. A crazed Cage Batman/Bruce Wayne would provide many great moments with Henry Cavill wondering what the hell is wrong with this guy. Cage even makes the alphabet exciting.

#8 Jaleel White

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I’ll be honest. I’ve been on a Family Matters kick lately. I love watching Jaleel White as Steve Urkel getting into hijinks with Carl Winslow. White’s acting talents really shined through on the show. He played multiple characters throughout his time on Family Matters. He played the nerd in Steve Urkel, the suave Stefan Urquelle, the Detroit thug OGD, Bruce Lee Urkel, Elvis Urkel, and even Steve’s cousin: Myrtle Urkel. Jaleel White can do it all. He could easily pull off the dual identity of Bruce Wayne and Batman. He even played Super Urkel one time. He has experience as a superhero. It’s time for the Dark Urkel to rise.

#7 Adam West

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Here’s a man with plenty of experience as Batman. Adam West today is known for being the crazy mayor of Quahog on Family guy. Back in the 60s though, he was the Batman. I say it’s time to bring him back. It would be great to put the 60s Batman series in the same universe as Man of Steel. I heard talks of a possible Batman Beyond film before the Batman/Superman film was announced. I figured they might as well combine the films. Let an old Batman show this new Superman the way. I’d find that to be awesome.

#6: Henry Cavill

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You might be confused now. Cavill is Superman! He’s the Man of Steel! He can’t also be Batman! In my world he can be! Watching Cavill act opposite himself would be hilarious. He can play the brooding Batman and the happy Superman. He already played a brooding Superman. It’s time to split the roles. Imagine the fight scenes against himself or the awkward dialogue scenes with himself. It’s a hilarious film waiting to happen.

#5 Robert Pattinson

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The backlash alone from casting Edward from Twilight as Batman would be so worth him getting the role. I wouldn’t even need to watch the film. I’d be happy just for the negative response. It would be even better if he actually pulled off the performance and did pretty well. I say give him a chance! We want Edward as Batman! I mean you all liked him as Cedric Diggory. Give him another try! It’s either him or Taylor Lautner.

#4 Hayden Christensen

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Speaking of guys who need one more chance, poor Hayden here is hated by a lot of people for ruining Star Wars. He’s not that bad of an actor. I blame poor direction by that George Lucas fellow for the failure of the Star Wars prequels. I figure there would be a lot of backlash here as well. I say give him a shot. He might impress some people. He could also fail in an unbelievable way. It’s a win win situation. They should totally make a Batman Star Wars film, but that’s another subject.

#3 Jensen Ackles

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This is actually a pretty legit choice for Batman. I’m a huge Supernatural fan so I would love to seen Jensen as Batman. While the other choices on my list have been for laughs, this one is serious. Ackles has just missed on being Superman on Smallville as well as being Captain America. He did a great job in the animated film Batman: Under the Red Hood, so I consider Jensen to be a great choice. Plus this scene from Supernatural is awesome.

#2 Jason David Frank

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What do you get when you cross the Green Ranger with Batman? Pure Awesome! I’ve seen JDF kick so much ass since I was young. It’s been forever since I’ve seen him kick ass on the big screen. JDF has worn 5 different Power Ranger costumes. I think it’s time he dons the cape of the Dark Knight. Being a Power Ranger is already like playing Batman with the secret identity. The Red Ranger in Power Rangers: Dino Thunder even mentioned Batman’s name in the same sentence as the great  Tommy Oliver. They gave Tommy a Batcave pretty much in Dino Thunder! Make him Batman!

#1 Tommy Wiseau

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Tommy Wiseau is the worst choice possible to play Batman which makes him my favorite choice of the bunch. The man can’t act, but he’s so hilarious at his ineptitude. If you’ve seen The Room, then you know what I’m talking about. Go watch it if you haven’t. It’s awesome. I’d laugh my ass off watching Tommy Wiseau as Batman. Warner Brothers needs this to happen. Marvel films would all suck in comparison to Tommy Wiseau as Batman. Here’s Tommy dubbed into The Dark Knight.

A Day in my WWE Universe

I’ve been playing a lot of WWE ’13 lately. I guess I’ve been bored. I spend the most time in the Universe Mode where you can control whatever you want. I used to use the WWE Superstars, but they bore me. I decided to download a bunch of fictional characters instead. I figured I’d let the good people of WordPress see what’s going on in my universe. I’m currently in the 7th year (I know I have no life), and I have come to the pay per view known as Summerslam. My universe features 6 championships: Super World, Universal, Ultraviolent, Fighting, Super Tag, and Pure Tag. Let’s get to the first match.

Ultraviolent Championship Match: Captain Jean-Luc Picard (c) vs. The Flash

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Background

The Ultraviolent Championship is the midcard championship for Smackdown that Captain Picard currently holds. He won the championship at the last pay per view, Money in the Bank, to earn his first singles championship. He previously held the Pure Tag Championship twice with Han Solo.

The Flash hasn’t had too much success in my Universe. He briefly held the Fighting Championship for 4 weeks before losing the title to Magneto. It’s been awhile since he’s had a title shot, so he hopes to take advantage of it.

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Yay shoddy camerawork by me!

The Match

It was actually pretty good. Lots of good back and forth. I think Flash hiptossed Picard a half dozen times. Picard is a tough old man though. Flash’s speed could not help him match the wit of the Captain.

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The Result

Jean-Luc, the master of the piledriver, drove Flash’s neck into the ground to pick up the victory. The winner and still champion, Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Image

Fighting Championship Match: Iron Man (c) vs. Green Lantern

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Background

Iron Man won the title a couple pay per views back in a triple threat match involving Green Lantern and then champion Hulk. He successfully defended the championship against Green Lantern at the last pay per view. Iron Man has to beat Green Lantern for a third straight pay per view to retain his championship.

Green Lantern has been in a pay per view slump of late. He’s had a Fighting Championship title shot at 8 of the last 10 pay per views and he has lost every time. He is a former champion losing the title to the Joker late in year 6. He’s hoping this time the title will finally come back home to him.

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The Match

It was very similar to the first match. Lots of reversals and near falls. Both men wanted to win the title badly. Iron Man tried to utilize a lot of submission maneuvers, but he could not get Green Lantern to tap out.  Green Lantern continued to fight, but would it be enough to win the title.

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The Result

Iron Man hit a devastating back breaker to retain his championship. Green Lantern fought hard, but he was denied the championship for the fourth straight pay per view.

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Pure Tag Championship Match: Wolverine and Loki (c) vs. Scorpion and Superman

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Background

Wolverine and Loki won the Pure Tag Titles back at Extreme Rules defeating the team of Lex Luthor and Green Ranger. This team came together after the team of Wolverine and Magneto broke up. Wolverine has been a bad guy for a long time in this universe ending the X Men relatively early in his run. This is his 2nd reign as Pure Tag Champion with his first being with Magneto. Loki is in his first reign. Loki’s success has been very small in this universe, but he is starting to turn it around.

Scorpion and Superman came together after the breakup of Superman and Batman. The World’s Finest held the Pure Tag Championship at one time, but they broke up after they lost the titles. Scorpion decided to team up with Superman to form a new World’s Finest. Both men have been very successful in this universe. Superman has won 5 total World Championships while Scorpion has won 3.

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The Match and Result

It wasn’t a very good one. I’d even call it a squash match. Wolverine and Loki dominated Scorpion and Superman. Wolverine hit a F5 to win the match and Dark X as they are called retained their tag titles.

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Steel Cage Match: Batman vs. Robin

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Background

Not really much background to this one. I just figured it would be fun to have Batman and Robin fighting each other. Robin hasn’t been successful in Universe Mode. He held the Ultraviolent Championship for a short amount of time, but that’s all the gold he has tasted. Batman has been very successful. He’s been a 4 time World Champion across both brands. He also has the longest combined reign for the Super World Championship.

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The Match

It was probably the best match of the night. Lots of battling back and forth in the cage. Robin got thrown into the cage at one point. Various points in the match had one man climbing the cage and the other man chasing him. It led to a lot of close calls by both Batman and Robin.

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The Result

Robin hit a DDT on Batman and almost got out, but Batman pulled him down at the last second. Batman used this opportunity to climb the cage and win the match. Batman hope to use the momentum from winning this match to climb back up the championship ranks.

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Super Tag Championship Match: Kirk and Spock (c) vs. Hulk and Thor

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Background

Kirk and Spock are the most dominant team in my Universe Mode. Together they are 6 time Super Tag Champions. Spock is actually a 9 time champion with 3 reigns coming with Green Goblin. I guess Kirk and Spock were able to turn him into a good guy. Kirk probably used some big monologue to turn him. Captain Kirk was actually the Super World Champion a couple months ago. He held the title well over a year before losing the title to Deadpool. That’s also the reason why Spock was teaming with Green Goblin. Kirk and Spock started their 6th reign as champs one pay per view ago.

Hulk and Thor have had some tag team success in their time. As a team, they are 2 time Super Tag Champions. Hulk had another reign with Iron Man making him a 3 time champ. They are very familiar with Kirk and Spock. The two teams have traded the tag titles before. Will this be the time it happens again?

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The Match

It wasn’t as big of a squash as the first tag  match, but Kirk and Spock dominated this one. Hulk and Thor had their moments, but they were very few.

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The Result

It wasn’t the first time Kirk stopped a big green monster. Kirk didn’t get the win with that submission hold, but he was able to hit a Rock Bottom to get the victory for Starfleet.

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Universal Championship Scramble Match: Spider-Man (c) vs. Captain Planet vs. Doomsday vs. Nightwing vs. Luke Skywalker

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Background

Spider-Man is currently in his 2nd reign as Universal Champion. He won the title from Captain Planet at Extreme Rules. He’s had a few successful defenses in a row against Nightwing going into this Scramble Match.

Nightwing hasn’t been too successful in Universe Mode. Like Robin he’s only been Ultraviolent Champion. I guess it’s not good to be Dick Grayson or Tim Drake. He’s had his big title shots, but he always comes up short.

Doomsday is a former 2 time Super World Champion, but his success has been minimal since winning those titles.

Captain Planet won the Royal Rumble and won the Universal Championship from Spawn at Wrestlemania. His first reign was short lived as he lost it a month later to Spider-Man.

Luke Skywalker is the most successful person coming into the match. He’s a former 5 time Super World Champion and a 3 time Money in the Bank winner. He’s still holding the briefcase at this moment.

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The Match

First off, the game had Luke Skywalker come out with the title for some reason. Minor complaint, but it happened. Doomsday and Luke started the match. Doomsday used a sledgehammer and a chair to pin Luke for the first fall in the Scramble Match.

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Nightwing came out third. He pinned Doomsday to become the temporary champion. Doomsday quickly won the honor right back with a pinfall on Luke Skywalker again.

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Captain Planet came out 4th and current champion Spider-Man came out last.

The Result

Nobody was able to defeated Doomsday. No pins happened after Doomsday pinned Skywalker. He held out and won the Universal Championship for the first time. This was also the first title change of the show.

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Super World Championship Match: Deadpool (c) vs. Han Solo

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Background

Deadpool ended Captain Kirk’s year plus reign to become Super World Champion for the first time. He had mild success in Universe Mode up until that point. He hopes to continue having success against Captain Solo like he did at the last two pay per views against Rocky Balboa.

Han Solo has floundered in the midcard for much of his career. He’s been a 2 time Pure Tag Champion with Captain Picard as well as an Ultraviolent Champion. He had some title shots against Captain Kirk, but he fell short. Will this be his moment or will Deadpool’s reign continue?

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The Match

Much like the other one on one matches on the show, this one was a tightly contested battle. Deadpool used a lot of good strategy to keep Han Solo away. Captain Solo moonsaulted onto the announce table with Deadpool on it to weaken him. Deadpool survived a lot of big moves from Solo, but would he have enough to get the win?

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The Result

A NEWWWWWW SUPPPPERRRRRRRRRRR WORLDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD CHAMPIONNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!! Han Solo finished Deadpool off with his finishing move to win his first ever Super World Championship. He also became the 5th Triple Crown Winner with his victory joining Kirk, Spock, Green Ranger, and Lex Luthor.

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That ends Summerslam. There were two new World Champions in Doomsday in Han Solo, both tag champions retained, and so did midcard champions. It was fun for me to share what I wasted my life on at times. Sometimes it is really enjoyable to live in your own fantasy universe.