Halloween Havoc 2013 Day 20: Rodan

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It feels like another good day for a giant monster movie. I really should be working on a paper for my senior seminar history class, but I for some reason am dedicated to watching movies in October. I’ll get to working on that paper later. If anyone knows anything about the Cathars when it comes to medieval history, then come find me! So Rodan is our film today. I don’t know too much about this one. I’m aware that Rodan has appeared in Godzilla films, but I have never watched Rodan’s original film. Maybe the good people of Netflix can help me out. I’m commenting as I watch for this one, so join me for the ride.

Oh, the King Brothers are presenting this film. Martin Luther King? Of course this is Toho, and it stars Japanese actors I’ve never heard of in my life. I take it Raymond Burr isn’t going to narrate this one for me. I like the credits. They seem fun enough. Oh, I do get narration! Not Raymond Burr, but someone else. I’m getting some really crappy looking American footage. It’s not black and white, but brown and white. I guess these guys are testing the hydrogen bomb. That’s neat. Yay for destruction. Americans are just testing a bunch of bombs apparently. The narrator questions what this could do to the world. I’m guessing Rodan is that answer

A Japanese guy is narrating in English now. He used to work in the mines when something went wrong one day. Some guys are fighting in the mines. I think one of the guys is named Goro, but he lacked four arms. Oh fun! This film is dubbed! I love dubs since they are hilarious. It also means I don’t have to read. The miners are walking in water. No clue what they are up to. Yoshi is dead in the water. Sucks to be Yoshi. He slaughtered like an animal according to our voiceover narration. The dubbed doctor is unsure how he died. Yoshi’s wife makes a commotion. She is very upset that her husband is dead. One guy thinks Goro is the reason he died. Shigeru disagrees, but he does love Goro’s sister, Kiyo. Goro is still missing. Shigeru tells Kiyo that he believes Goro is no killer. Don’t tell that to the people in Mortal Kombat.

Back in the mines, they are looking for Goro. One guy screams and goes underwater! Why did he scream!? One of the miners escapes. Not sure what happened to the other guys. I’m guessing they are fucked. The loud screaming would suggest that. Back to the doctors. They have recovered the bodies. Two of the dead bodies died of shock and not being mutilated. Dr. Tanaka knows his stuff. Kiyo is still sad. Shigeru is trying to console her. She looks a lot older than him. Holy fuck! Weird big eyed bug monster! Where the fuck did that come from? Some guys come in to shoot at it. That doesn’t work. Call the military! Was that Rodan? Something else? I don’t know! I thought Rodan was like a pterodactyl.

The bug monster has moved to a hill. The military is still shooting at it. It just grabbed a guy and killed him. It moves pretty fast. They seem to be no longer blaming Goro for the killing unless he mutated into a bug monster. The military is doing something else now. Are they going into the mine to destroy the bug monster? It looks like it. Hey, they found Goro’s body! And the bug monster! Machine guns!!!!! Kill it!!!!! It’s not working!!!! Run away!!!!!!! LOL at the guy on the mine cart. Ram that thing at bug monster! Did he kill it? I think Shigeru killed it. Wait, he did not! It’s coming back! Oh, it’s a different one! The mine is caving in! Damn! I guess Shigeru is stuck in the mines now.

Back at the doctor’s place. They are talking about stuff when an earthquake happens. The earthquake happened near the mines. There is a volcano around there somewhere. At the quake site, they find Shigeru walking around. He looks like hell, but he’s still alive. They take him back to the doctors. He has a big bandage on his head because of memory loss. He doesn’t remember Kiyo anymore. That poor girl is having some pretty shitty luck in this film. The doctors and scientists decide that the bug is a prehistoric insect. Yay for studying primitive life. Shigeru still can’t remember a damn thing. Pictures of the bug monster seem to make his head hurt more.

So a fighter pilot is saying a something is speeding around really fast in the air. Did we switch movies? Do the bug monsters fly now? The giant bird like monster destroys the plane. The military is still not sure what it is, but the movie showed us a wing. That must have been Rodan! More planes have also been taken down according to radio. This creature moves so fast that it can’t been seen well. They call it a UFO. Authorities believe there are actually more than one of these things. Oh shit, the United States are helping out now. Thank God! The rest of the world is useless without the help of America haha. So what happened to the bug monsters? Who are these random people in this car? Oh, they are going to the volcano to take pictures. Shit, did the bird eat them? Maybe they fell off a cliff or the big old bird dropped them to their death. Their pictures showed the creature or a part of it.

Back to Shigeru, he’s still wearing that giant bandage on his head. He doesn’t seem to be speaking. Kiyo is talking to her birds. She shows Shigeru a couple of little bird eggs. One hatches and this triggers a flashback for Shigeru. The flashback is Shigeru around a giant egg and a bunch of bug monsters. The egg hatches and this must be Rodan! It’s funny watching baby Rodan look so happy in his hatched egg. A guess the bug monsters are his friend. Shigeru wakes up after passing out probably from the flashbacks. His memory is back and he tells the scientists and Kiyo everything he had seen in the mines.

Shigeru leads the soldiers to the mine to destroy other eggs. The narrator Shigeru is telling us how long he wonders these creatures have been down there and how humans woke them up. They have to run out of the cave when it starts to fall apart. They bring back part of the egg shell to the scientists. They determine stuff about the egg like its age and size. This leads to scientists determining the UFO is this giant flying creature. They call it a species called the Rodan. We have the name now! The scientist believes that the nuclear blasts have brought the monsters back to life. Exposition is so much fun!

Looks like the military has found Rodan. What will they do about it? Try to blow the fucker up! Shoot shoot shoot!!!!! I don’t think that worked. Rodan decides to fly away. Oh shit! There’s two Rodans! That’s not even fair! Rodan flies so fast it can destroy vehicles just by flowing over them. That’s speed! Fighter planes are trying to blast Rodan out of the sky to no effect at the moment. Rodan is flying into the water now. Why? It’s flying out now! Damn! Rodan took down that bridge. What a dick! The planes are still after Rodan. The flying creature has headed into the city and is using its wings to blow shit all over the place. Rodan is wrecking shit! Tanks are trying to shoot Rodan down. It’s not working. I got excited because I thought a sign said Gamera. It said camera instead. There goes my Gamera vs. Rodan crossover.

Destruction all over the place! Destroyed buildings! Dead people! Fire everywhere! Damn those Rodans! How will they stop them?! I guess the Rodans are going into hibernation since they ate and caused enough damage. That’s a nice convenience. The Japanese are deciding what to do now. Cause a volcano? This should be fun. They are evacuating the city. I guess they are going with the volcano idea. They’ve brought in tanks and anything else they could think of to bomb that fucking volcano! BOOM!!!!! BOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!! Blow that shit up!!!!!!!!! It’s been a couple minutes since I typed that last sentence. They are still just blowing shit up! It’s getting a little repetitive. I get it! The Rodans in the mines are making noises. Are they dying from too many explosions? I think there plan to seal Rodan in failed. It flew out right before the volcano erupted. Oh no! One Rodan couldn’t get out! Scratch that! They both escaped. What about the bug monsters? Did they get out? Correction again. One Rodan hit the ground. It dead because of the volcano. All that volcanic gas and ash has killed it. The other one goes down as well because the other Rodan died. They wanted to go down together because of love! Rodan love! Watch them burn! Shigeru narrates and talks about how man showed they were stronger this day. He talks about the future and whether or not man can overcome these monsters again. The end!

Final Thoughts

I enjoyed that one. There was quite a lot to like. The dubbing was done pretty well. The human characters are pretty uninteresting, but they move the movie along. I thought the plot worked. It’s the old nuclear weapons created a monster plot, but it does the job well unlike some movies in this genre. Lots of explosions which are always fun unless done by Michael Bay. The monster costumes looked nice. I thought Rodan looked great! The bug monsters looked silly, but they were done well too. I recommend this film to anyone who loves a good giant monster film. Hell, I recommend this to everyone! It’s entertaining!

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