Bienvenue. Today I’m taking a look at a French zombie film. How does it hold up to Americna zombie films? Is it better than Zombies vs. Strippers? I guess I wil tell you how I feel about it. I know some French, but I’m not well versed. Thank Zod for subtitles. No running commentary for today. I’m just going to straight up review this one. Let’s go! Spoilers!
It’s a zombie movie. You watch for zombies and you get zombies. These cops go to some place full of bad guys. I don’t know why they are bad. I guess they killed a cop since we are at that person’s funeral at the beginning of the film. A group of cops try to find the bad folk, but they get captured by them. A couple poor bastards get shot. Our main cop is named Ouess. He’s joined by a few others. I only remember the girl’s name which is Aurore. I don’t recall the names of any of the bad guys. I just know there are a few black guys, a fat guy, and a guy I dubbed French Miami Vice. Once they find out about the zombies, the two groups team together to combat the zombies. Of course. It’s very standard having to work with your enemies.
Throughout the film, we lose some people. A black guy here and there. Some of the cop crew. Even poor French Miami Vice becomes a zombie. The main black guy then kills him since FMV killed his brother. Ouess has an epic last stand against the large horde of zombies. There’s like hundreds of these motherfuckers. I should mention that they curse a shitload in this film. I think every other line is shit or motherfucker. I wonder if that’s just a translation thing. Then again, I do know the French word for shit and they use it a lot.
Going to get some running commentary after all. The fat guy and black man are shooting the hell out of zombies. Aurore is fighting them with her hands like a moron. I guess her hands worked though. She’s not wearing a bra. That’s one thing I noticed. Black man and fat man are still just firing at zombie like crazy. The blood is so fake and CGI. More f bombs being dropped. Fat man finally runs out of ammo. Too bad for him. More zombies are coming. He wants a grenade. Shit. I think he’s going to sacrifice himself. Damn! The grenade didn’t work .That’s a bummer. Nevermind, it worked. He just had to get some one liners in first. Well, he’s dead now.
It’s down to black man and Aurore. IMDB tells me the black man’s name is Adewale. They run outside and see all the damage. It’s not a pretty site. Aurore is pulling a guy on Adewale now. That bitch. I guess she’s still holding a grudge. She finishes him off too. Shot right to the back of the head. Sucks for him. Zombie noises. They still coming and credits. Lame ending! Boo! We want strippers!
It’s French acting. That’s hard for me to judge. Lots of yelling and cursing in this one. The most entertaining guy was the fat man. He was funny. Everyone else just knew how to say motherfucker.
Pretty bad. I hate CGI blood. It seems so lazy. Okay, it did have some good blood effects. It wasn’t all CG, but I miss the work of guys like Tom Savini. The green screen skys looked pretty hilarious at times. You could easily tell how fake it looked. I guess I shouldn’t be expecting James Cameron type effects for zombie films. The zombies looked decent. It’s hard to screw up a zombie look.
It wasn’t better than Zombies vs. Strippers. I found it pretty boring actually. It’s no different than any other zombie film you’ve ever watched. Give me something new. At least zombies and strippers are something a little more out there. Do Mega Shark vs. Zombies for all I care. That sounds like a better movie. This movie is only recommended to die hard zombie lovers who also have a taste for French films.
- Halloween Havoc 2013 Day 16: Zombies vs. Strippers (thegreatnodnarb.wordpress.com)
- Halloween Havoc 2013 Day 9: White Zombie (thegreatnodnarb.wordpress.com)