Hello, and welcome to another day of Havoc. Today’s edition is a John Carpenter film. I like John Carpenter. He made Halloween after all. I’m hoping he doesn’t fail me today. I can’t see the picture on Netflix has me too excited though. I’m also watching this one with my girlfriend, so we might get a little of her perspective too along the way. I’m praying for a good movie. It is time to watch.
This is an Arc Entertainment film. I’m so thrilled. XLrator Media too. Oh boy. Wait. It’s also Echo Lake Entertainment. How many people made this movie? Filmnation Entertainment also made this film. Bigger Boat Associations! I’m not too confident already. Some girl appears to be in a psych ward. That might be me after this film. She’s dead now. That didn’t take long. I’ll admit that the credits scene is neat. I like the old creepy pictures of people having surgery performed on them. The music during the credits seems very Danny Elfman Batmanish.
That’s a very old looking cop car….oh this scene is from 1966. This movie was made in 2010 for those keeping score. A girl is running through the woods. Now she is lighting a house on fire? That’s not nice. What a bitch. I hope this cop arrests her. She seems pleased by this. That house is burning pretty good. Get her, coppers! Stop screaming, bitch! You’re going to jail! Ambulances from the 60s look really cool. We should go back to that design. Crazy girl is kinda pretty. They must know that too. They are making her strip to put on her psych ward clothes. She had a lot of bruises or cuts. Weirdo men watch her shower. She also gets to meet a creep named Roy. He says he can be her buddy or a thorn in her side. I’d choose buddy! Never mess with a man named Roy. Roy Scheider should be in this. It is Bigger Boat Associations. This girl is named Kristin. She’s being put in a ward. I get the title of the film now.
Everyone gets chalkboards with their names on their doors. That’s neat. The sixties were weird like that. Ten years earlier, Jason Voorhees drowned at Crystal Lake. That’s another movie though. Michael Myers might have been in a ward too at this point. So what was that weird fire thing? I’m hoping this movie gives me answers. I guess she found some beads. Maybe they are hers. I don’t know or care at this point. Why is she sleeping on the floor? Perhaps she has a bed phobia. The doc is in. Give her some drugs! That’ll help. Oh, she crushed them. The nurse lady looks pretty scary. I wouldn’t take her drugs after all.
I guess it’s time for Kristin to meet the other psycho ladies. Kristin isn’t very nice to these girls. All the girls are introducing themselves to Kristin. I think we only got one name and that was Iris played by one of the girl from that Bob Saget talks to at the beginning of How I Met Your Mother. I should mention Amber Heard is playing Kristin. You might remember her from the Nic Cage classic called Drive Angry. Our doctor is trying to get the reason for her burning down that farmhouse. She isn’t telling him anything. I want to know her reasons. She seems to be a smart psycho. She’s pretending to take her drugs. Laurie Strode did that in Halloween: Resurrection. That film didn’t turn out well for her or anyone watching for that matter. Let’s hope this goes better for Kristin.
This ward isn’t too secure. She broke out of her room pretty easily. A guard caught her though. Back to her room! Umm…weird scene of a girl chained up. Was it Kristin? We saw Kristin get put back in her room, but not put in chains. She’s back in bed. I guess something woke her up. Is something shady going on at this ward? I wonder how close these clothes are to the clothes of the sixties. I mean Kristin’s pants in this scene look like they could be from the sixties. The girls are talking with each other. One girl wants to draw Kristin. I think that’s Iris again. Kristin tells the girls of what she thinks she has seen in the ward.
Dance time in the psych ward! This reminds me of a similar scene in Good Burger where Ed (Kel Mitchell) gets everyone to dance in the crazy bin. Even Abe Vigoda danced. None of them can dance by the way. The lights go out and some creepy red haired girl keeps popping up. Kristin seems oddly enough the most normal and sane of the girls. This ward seems pretty open to the girls. I mean they can look at records and all this stuff pretty easily. Kristin wants to know why they are being given all these drugs. She’s talking to this other blond girl. I don’t know her name. IMDB says Emily. Sarah is another girl. She seems like a bit of a bitch. Shower scene with all the girls! It’s not really that exciting. Creepy, deformed woman grabbed Kristin by the throat. Time to give her more drugs because they all think she’s crazy.
They got her strapped to some bed now. She might be hallucinating. I’m not sure. Shock therapy! It worked for Lex Luthor on Smallville, so why not this girl. What’s going on now? Group therapy with the doctor? Emily has a weird Joker smile for some reason. They are discussing this girl named Tammy who I guess got out of the ward. I’m pretty lost. Emily seems to believe Kristin, but Sarah does not. Iris thinks she is being released soon. She believes she is making progress, and that she is cured. The doctor has pictures that Iris has drawn. One of them is a woman down the hall with a knife. I guess she’s not cured. Doc is going to try some hypnosis! Who knows, this film might go Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors on us. This film could use some Freddy one liners at this point because it’s been pretty bland. The doctor is asking Iris some questions. It must work. Hard to believe she fell asleep so easily. Shes strapped to a chair now, and she is screaming about it. Who is pushing the chair?!!!! It’s something with ugly hands. Thing through the eye or right under the eye. Whatever! It was pretty sick! About time this movie did something worth noting!
Kristin is talking to the weird girl with the bunny now. The girl talks through the bunny and wonders where Iris is. She’s dead, Jim. Someone is hanging in chains again. What are these scenes?! They happen whenever Kristin goes to bed. Iris is still gone. All the girls wonder what could have happened to her. Why are there only like five girls at this place? Kristin wants answers, but mean nurse lady isn’t telling her anything. Kristin finds a sketchbook that belonged to Iris. Iris had drawings of this girl named Alice who has the creepy face. The bead thing that Kristin found belonged to Alice. Kristin wants answers from doctor. Doc isn’t really giving any good answers. He even says he can’t give her answers and that she must find them for herself.
Kristin is confronting the other girls about Alice now. Sarah tries to avoid the topic but Kristin slaps the shit out of her. They say Alice is gone now and that she was let out. Kristin says she’s getting out and they are coming with her. It’s night in the ward. Time for an escape plan. Kristin fakes taking the meds again. This place really isn’t that secure if they can get out of their rooms so easily. Kristin and Emily are plotting their escape. Don’t let the guards catch you! I really hate that evil nurse lady. She seems to be pretty smart too. We finally see another patient in the ward. This one is male. I guess he chill in a different part of the place.
I hope something happens soon. I’m getting pretty bored. Oh, they found the morgue. That’s always a fun place. How about a Tony Todd appearance! Kristin and Emily have to hide because of voices. Kristin is having trouble finding Emily and CREEPY HAND! Emily appears to have disappeared. Kristin isn’t going to dwell on looking for her. Someone just said Alice. Maybe it’s one of the crab monsters from yesterday. Another creepy dead Alice appears. I assume Alice is the creepy dead looking ghost thing that keeps on showing up. That girl in chains scene is played again too. This is a strange film.
Kristin is back in bed. She’s probably wishing she was in another Nicolas Cage movie at this point. Emily is back. I don’t trust her. She said the wardens found her and hurt her hands. She tells Kristin that nobody ever gets out. Sarah is talking to a guard now. She’s hitting on him. He doesn’t want to date her. That’s his loss. I’d go for crazy. The television in the room keeps saying the same thing about killing or something. Nobody seems t care. Sarah is being a bitch again to Kristin and Emily. That’s what she does when not asking out guards. She’s even mean to bunny rabbit Zoey. Emily turns up the television to not hear Sarah. Whatever is on the television might be a more interesting movie. Sarah walked away from the rest of the girls, but now she is getting chased by Alice the ghost. I think it’s Alice. Ghost Alice grabbed her face and has taken Sarah to her surgery room. More SHOCK THERAPY!!!!! Alice is shocking her pretty good. She’s a goner. Sarah was shocked so much that the lights flickered in the building. It appears we are down to three. Kristin, Emily, and Zoey.
Kristin wants to know what happened to Alice. Zoey said Alice was a bad girl and was mean to them. Alice hurt them. Another girl named Tammy said she would help get rid of Alice. The rabbit that Zoey has been carrying belong to Alice. The girls killed Alice. She’s taking her revenge now. I can’t say I blame her. I wouldn’t like being killed either. Emily is threatening suicide now. Oh shit! Alice killed her instead! That came out of nowhere! That’s probably the best scene yet. Lol, Kristin is threatening to kill Zoey now so they will let her out. I’m guessing she is pretending, but I don’t know. I do know Sarah Connor did this in Terminator 2. I so wish I was watching Terminator 2. The guards stop Kristin in her tracks. The nurse wants to shoot her up, and she does. This nurse seems to have too much power here. Maybe she is actually not a nurse and has higher authority. No idea.
They put Kristin in a straitjacket. Her attempts to break out of it actually go pretty well. She tries to throw up her pills. Not sure how they is going to work. I forgot to mention that she was given pills. She knocks out the stupid nurse lady who came to check on her. Down goes a guard too! Kristin is kicking ass all of a sudden! The tide is turning in her favor! She’s got the keys. Can she escape? She has Zoey with her too. The guard is still chasing after them. “He’s really mad.” says Zoey. Alice blocks them off. I hate when ghosts block my path. Kristin stupidly leaves Zoey in the elevator type thing by herself. Alice appears with Zoey and Kristin can’t get her out while a guard is trying to get her. Kristin gets in the thing next. Hopefully her little elevator trip goes better.
Follow the blood trail! Oh, it leads to Alice! Zoey is probably dead. So why is Alice a ghost? Will they explain that? Did it just happen? I know the other girls murdered her, but I want a better explanation. Alice sure is kicking the shit out of Kristin. Come on, Kristin! Show off those moves Nicolas Cage taught you! Kristin axed poor Alice! I’m surprised that hurts a ghost. Maybe she wasn’t a ghost. Has Kristin won? Did she win with the old ax to the chest?
Kristin finds some notes from the doctor. They seem important. She grabs a piece of glass and threatens to cut his throat. He’s saying that Kristin is Alice now. What the fuck! What a twist! Apparently she was abducted in 1958 and chained up in an abandoned farmhouse for 2 months. It was the same farmhouse that she burned down. The doctor says that her psyche has fractured and that she is suffering from multiple personality disorder. The other personalities became too strong and took over. So all the other girls in this film have been in her head? The Alice monster is killing Kristin now. I guess that needs to happen to bring the original Kristin or Alice back.
The doctor is now showing a film reel to a couple people. The two people are Alice’s parents. Alice is back to herself. No more Kristin. Alice is in bed and needs a lot of therapy according to the doc. The guard gives her all her stuff back. Alice says she believes everything now to the Doc. She remembers all the personalities. Her father says she can go home in a couple days. I’m hoping against a twist ending again. That never works out for me. Alice looks through the book of drawings that the Iris personality made. She was a very creative drawer to draw up different people like that. Mirror gag ending! I hate twists like that! So what happened was Alice opened up the mirror drawer in the bathroom and then Kristin jumped out. It was pretty fucking stupid.
First Roger Corman disappoints me and then John Carpenter! John can do so much better than that. The Ward was a boring and bland film. The only thing I liked was the multiple personality disorder reveal at the end. Everything else seemed like a cheap attempt at a scare. I hate jump scares and that last one really pissed me off. The acting was good. I had no problems with that. It’s just a bland film with a decent script. If you are going to watch something in a psycho ward, then I suggest sticking to that one episode of the TV show Supernatural where they are stuck in one. You get this scene at least!
I said my girlfriend was watching too. Her review was, “Eh, it’s okay.” She says there were some scary parts to her, but that’s about it. She would not recommend it. I’m with her on that one.
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