Top 10 Guys that I want as Batman

With news of an upcoming Batman/Superman movie from the San Diego Comic Con, a lot of people have been putting together lists of people they want to see as the Caped Crusader. They usually go with guys they think would make a great Batman. Most people I have seen have been decent choices. I could never see a Bradley Cooper or Ryan Gosling as Batman though. Bradley Cooper will always be that douche from Wedding Crashers to me, and Ryan Gosling will always be that guy who is not Ryan Reynolds. You can tell me how great Drive is all you want! All I can say is don’t watch it while you have been drinking.

My top 10 list of people will not be the best choices. Most of them won’t even be good. Hell, they are all going to be pretty bad. This is just a top 10 list of people who would entertain me if they played Batman next to Henry Cavill’s Superman. Here we go!

#10 John Cena

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This is actually a rumor I read about today. Current WWE Champion John Cena playing Batman. Cena would have to take a lot of time off of pro wrestling to do this role which is fine by me. Nobody is more boring to watch in wrestling than John Cena. His act is beyond stale at this point, but people watch him so that’s cool. He still puts on good matches. It’s time for him to step into a new role though. We want him as the Dark Knight! SuperCena vs. Superman on the big screen. Cena has done some acting in his time with movies like The Marine and 12 Rounds which are entertaining crapfests. That’s what I want from my Batman/Superman movie. Entertaining schlock. Watching Cena try to act his way as Bruce Wayne and Batman will make me laugh for weeks. Make it happen DC!

#9 Nicolas Cage

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The once almost Superman would be a great Batman. He could finally get his revenge by beating up the character he almost was. Almost everything Nic Cage is in entertains me. The man is usually never boring. He can be a vampire or a guy searching for treasure. Cage is awesome. A crazed Cage Batman/Bruce Wayne would provide many great moments with Henry Cavill wondering what the hell is wrong with this guy. Cage even makes the alphabet exciting.

#8 Jaleel White

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I’ll be honest. I’ve been on a Family Matters kick lately. I love watching Jaleel White as Steve Urkel getting into hijinks with Carl Winslow. White’s acting talents really shined through on the show. He played multiple characters throughout his time on Family Matters. He played the nerd in Steve Urkel, the suave Stefan Urquelle, the Detroit thug OGD, Bruce Lee Urkel, Elvis Urkel, and even Steve’s cousin: Myrtle Urkel. Jaleel White can do it all. He could easily pull off the dual identity of Bruce Wayne and Batman. He even played Super Urkel one time. He has experience as a superhero. It’s time for the Dark Urkel to rise.

#7 Adam West

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Here’s a man with plenty of experience as Batman. Adam West today is known for being the crazy mayor of Quahog on Family guy. Back in the 60s though, he was the Batman. I say it’s time to bring him back. It would be great to put the 60s Batman series in the same universe as Man of Steel. I heard talks of a possible Batman Beyond film before the Batman/Superman film was announced. I figured they might as well combine the films. Let an old Batman show this new Superman the way. I’d find that to be awesome.

#6: Henry Cavill

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You might be confused now. Cavill is Superman! He’s the Man of Steel! He can’t also be Batman! In my world he can be! Watching Cavill act opposite himself would be hilarious. He can play the brooding Batman and the happy Superman. He already played a brooding Superman. It’s time to split the roles. Imagine the fight scenes against himself or the awkward dialogue scenes with himself. It’s a hilarious film waiting to happen.

#5 Robert Pattinson

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The backlash alone from casting Edward from Twilight as Batman would be so worth him getting the role. I wouldn’t even need to watch the film. I’d be happy just for the negative response. It would be even better if he actually pulled off the performance and did pretty well. I say give him a chance! We want Edward as Batman! I mean you all liked him as Cedric Diggory. Give him another try! It’s either him or Taylor Lautner.

#4 Hayden Christensen

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Speaking of guys who need one more chance, poor Hayden here is hated by a lot of people for ruining Star Wars. He’s not that bad of an actor. I blame poor direction by that George Lucas fellow for the failure of the Star Wars prequels. I figure there would be a lot of backlash here as well. I say give him a shot. He might impress some people. He could also fail in an unbelievable way. It’s a win win situation. They should totally make a Batman Star Wars film, but that’s another subject.

#3 Jensen Ackles

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This is actually a pretty legit choice for Batman. I’m a huge Supernatural fan so I would love to seen Jensen as Batman. While the other choices on my list have been for laughs, this one is serious. Ackles has just missed on being Superman on Smallville as well as being Captain America. He did a great job in the animated film Batman: Under the Red Hood, so I consider Jensen to be a great choice. Plus this scene from Supernatural is awesome.

#2 Jason David Frank

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What do you get when you cross the Green Ranger with Batman? Pure Awesome! I’ve seen JDF kick so much ass since I was young. It’s been forever since I’ve seen him kick ass on the big screen. JDF has worn 5 different Power Ranger costumes. I think it’s time he dons the cape of the Dark Knight. Being a Power Ranger is already like playing Batman with the secret identity. The Red Ranger in Power Rangers: Dino Thunder even mentioned Batman’s name in the same sentence as the great  Tommy Oliver. They gave Tommy a Batcave pretty much in Dino Thunder! Make him Batman!

#1 Tommy Wiseau

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Tommy Wiseau is the worst choice possible to play Batman which makes him my favorite choice of the bunch. The man can’t act, but he’s so hilarious at his ineptitude. If you’ve seen The Room, then you know what I’m talking about. Go watch it if you haven’t. It’s awesome. I’d laugh my ass off watching Tommy Wiseau as Batman. Warner Brothers needs this to happen. Marvel films would all suck in comparison to Tommy Wiseau as Batman. Here’s Tommy dubbed into The Dark Knight.

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2 thoughts on “Top 10 Guys that I want as Batman

  1. […] I already listed the 10 guys I believe should play Batman the other day in the next movie. Pope Francis was not on that list. I don’t think he has the acting chops to pull off the Dark Knight. I mean it might be comical to watch Francis donning the cape, and trying to fight crime along with Henry Cavill’s Superman. It’s not a film I want to see though. The pope should be doing pope things. He shouldn’t be the Batman. That’s Batman’s job. Everybody knows that Batman is more important than the pope. […]

  2. […] Top 10 Guys that I want as Batman (thegreatnodnarb.wordpress.com) […]

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